Lassies & Gentlemen

January 25th is Robbie Burns Day - the world's largest annual celebration of the work of any writer. Please, google it.....how'd this day of whiskey, slurred speeches, bagpipage, stews, and folk dancing exist so long without any of my knowledge?

oh - im not scottish. that's it.

Well, Doug & Nicole let me adopt-a-culture for a day and here's how they done do it:
yes - they had official [printed] programs!
Turn for my 'Toast To The Lassies':

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
How benevolent your ways

With bodies as solid as a chassis
And sweet minds that remold like clay

There are far too many accolades to simply display
But because of you, oh sweet lassie, we are all here today.

Placenta Placenta - you were first my home
And look how mighty strong i now have grown!

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
How seductive your souls

With breasts ripe like pomegranates
And asses that most find tough to manage

Those lips so soft
My penis exalts

Vagina Vagina - you are my favorite home
And look how mighty strong i now have grown!

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
How multifaceted your modes

With frontal lobes too complex for mere lads to hone
You gracefully achieve both career and tidy abodes

Sweet natural scents never leave you alone
We lads proudly lend you our throne

Intellect Intellect - you are my elusive home
And look how mighty smart i now have grown!

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
You prance with such confidence

With voices high pitched and index finger as waving evidence
You get your ways with nearly no hesitance

From us lads you are forever in need of more attention
If not satisfied you use manipulation called pussy retention

Philanges Philanges - you are consistently my new home
With a firm stride and altering grips....there is none better thing known.

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
Let us Laddies rise to salute thee
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Too much fun. Just the right amount of 'too much' fun.

thanks guys!
- jelsen

My 1st internet crush

Since Jelsen and I were lucky enough to be featured on Brooklyn Bride's blog, we've been getting a lot of love on various other blogs from around the world. One of the sweet comments led me through another blog onto this fabulous blog by a lady in Scotland (dreamy!) who is planning her own nuptials and introduced me to the coolest DIY project ever. I wish I was brave enough to take on this task! As soon as we are settled in the new apartment, I am following her guidelines and making these gorgeous candles. They'll make a great xmas/hannukah/kwanza gift!


First of all, let me tell you how the first thing that drew me her way was the name of her blog, Peonies and Polaroids. Two of my favorite things in the world! (I think we are destined!)
Besides making these gorgeous jars, she diy'ed these pretty shoes that I wanted a while back-but turned out to be a bit out of my pre-wedding budget! I definitely have a crush on her craftiness and put her blog on my "daily blog list" for more ideas and inspiration.

Today, as I was scrolling through her blog and nodding my head to her comments on the "deposit effect" and perplexed that she made me actually love roses (I thought I hated roses!), I see that she did an entire post about OUR wedding. And she writes just the sweetest things about us!

I think this is the start of a beautiful internet-friendship.

-bahareh