Carb heaven and the birds condo

Started the day at my favorite bakery in Oslo with my lovely friend Line. It's called "Åpent bakeri", which translates to "open bakery" and it has the most delicious bread in the entire Norway. It's so good, they're always sold out actually, but luckily we were up bright and early and got our share. It works like this; you pick and pay for your choice of delightful treat (in this case wholegrain rolls) and then they let you eat all you want of their homemade strawberry jam which basically contains freshly squished sweet strawberries. They have a barrel full of it and you can fill a glass (or even ten) with it and bring to your table. It is heaven. Hea.ven. If I could go there for breakfast everyday I would, I swear. If you haven't had Norwegian bread, you can't understand what I mean and if "Smucker's" is your choice of jam, I want you to smuck yourself in the face for even thinking it comes close to this.

Anyway. After finishing my giant size roll of yumminess, I headed to the gym where my personal trainer told me I'm not allowed to have bread again. Like ever. Or should I say, never.



Walking from the gym to the subway, I spotted this awesome bird's condo. It looks like a little tree house. Although it's on a stick, so that basically makes it a stick house, I guess?! Pretty neat, except the pigeons couldn't fit in it so they were just using it as a pit stop. Sorta like a crap'n fly. The best part is the sign directing them towards the nearest Deli de Luca, which is coincidentally - the only place I like to get my crap when I'm about to fly.

-bahareh

Good Morning // 04

This morning while i was in the locker room at NYSC on 14th street (around 8:45) two men were caught 'doin the dirty' - in the steam room. the staff member who walked in on them approached this 'pleasant surprise' quite professionally. here it is:

Staff Member: "Guys, this IS NOT cool. You cant be doing this here...NOT cool"

He storms out for a few mins then comes back in with a female staff member. they go back into the steam room and to everyone's surprise - the two dudes were still at it! amazing, i know. now, the staff member was PISSED:

Staff Member: " What?! are you guys kidding me?! Get the fuck out of there NOW! You...and you....Yeah - YOU! I fucking saw you! no? you're tell me it wasnt you?! oh! you think it's cool looking at me jacking off right now?! you think this is funny!? FUCK YOU. get out right now!........I SAW YOU MOTHERFUCKER....IM LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT NOW!...yeah, i walked in and this guy was bent over giving you head. EY - get the fuck up right now! Be a man and get up....get UP"

Now, this entire time the culprits werent saying a thing back. of course not - their brains' blood was someplace else at the moment. tee hee.

i didnt stick around to see who they were - who cares! im def buying flip-flops today.

- jelsen

Scandi remedy

We're out of cough syrup, but being a true Scandinavian household - we have an industrial size bottle of Jägermeister in stock,.Hopefully it'll cure my cough before I get more than buzzed.
At least I can't feel my nose anymore. Or the snot hanging down from it.
Yes, I found another way of putting that word in there.

-bahareh

In between coughs and sneezes

I'm admiring my new shoes and dreaming that the sun will melt all the snow so I can use them somewhere else than my own house. They're too pretty for the inside.

I'm also on my fifth cup of tea and honey. Oh, and let's not forget the snot tissues, I know how you all must enjoy reading about those. It also gives me another reason to label this post under "snot", and well...i kinda have to create my own fun today. It's either snot or a "7th heaven" marathon...what would you choose?

-bahareh

This moaning

It seems Jelsen passed his cold on to me. I guess you really CAN do everything on the internet these days. Woke up this a.m. with a sore throat, runny nose and pounding headache. Refused to accept what was happening to my body and made it all the way to the gym for my pilates class - where they asked me to please leave so I wouldn't spread my germs to everyone there. Got on the train back home with all my snot tissues tucked in my mitten (yes I wear mittens, you would too if you lived in Norway). Have now camped down on the couch with oj, pills and even more snot tissue.

For those of you with keen sight ;
yes, my blankie has a dog and a cat on it. And yes, I call it my "blankie".

-bahareh

Far Far Far Rockaway

ok, so i 'kinda' know what typefaces were used here - but, not confident enough to raise my hand in class to belt out the answer.

Where's Deacon Webster when you need him?

What an amazing establishment. the cars are so out of place. the architecture & colors are almost lego-like.

- jelsen

Good Morning // 03

This morning's plan was to sweat out the residue of last week's cold. so, i headed to the gym and had a jolly good time perspiring.

After sweaty nothings, i went back to my locker and BLAM! i forgot my combination. again.


a) I wrote the combination to the lock in my notepad the day i got it (unfortunately, i left that in the locker with the rest of my stuff. duh)
b) After realizing i 'forgot' the combo i made a list of most-likely variations (notice the VERY FIRST try is the correct combination)
c) The end result.

- jelsen

Spot the difference

Traffic signs in Norway are getting modernized, but I really wish they would keep some of the old ones. I'm especially gonna miss this one. It's a piece of traffic art with its details and old fashion glam. You really can't beat the suit and the hat and because of this, I always aim to look like Fred Astaire when I'm crossing the streets.
The new one is so lame in comparison. I mean, who crosses the street without shoes on? C'mon.

-bahareh

Toot! Toot!

Top-O-Mornin! This is how it all began; we met at 9:30 at a bushwick walgreens to pick up some b&w film. we then jumped on the J Train to JFK.

that in our hands = breakfast. onward ho.
Oooops: "where are we? where's the A Train? oh, down there." fantastic.

We were also hungry again so, since in the neighborhood, we opted on enjoying lunch at the world renowned JFK Food Court. hard palates everywhere envied ours.

.....you're reading it right: Wok&Roll. it's definitely riding that thin line of clever and shut the fuck up. we ultimately decided on McD's cause its always smarter to stick with domestic violence rather than venture abroad for it.

After being spotted by airport security for picture-taking on the premises, the man (who shaves his sideburns up to the very top of his ear) took the polaroid and tore it apart practically inches from steph's face while saying, "sorry guys, 19 idiots had to go ahead and ruin it for everyone else". these 'idiots' he's referring to are the 9/11 plane hijackers....yeah, well put.

Oh - that's a bird IN the airport.Finally getting off the airtran & an A Train transfer to far rockaway, we took the predictable post-lunch bathroom break at a local hospital's gift shop/cafeteria.

We strut into the lobby and the security stops us and asks, "hello, how can i help you?", and i - having experienced "no, bathroom. only for customers" (yes, even at hospitals)lied to him saying, "...yes, my family told me to meet them in the cafeteria"...his reply, "great, you're standing in it"

indeed i was.

Steph threw in a swift, "where are your restrooms?". he then pointed, we then peed. bladder saved x2.
Relieved, we treaded to the grim, seashell sanded northern strip of the atlantic shoreline some people blindly refer to as 'the beach'. after 5hrs....we were finally at the the starting point of our A Train Project.

Inwood, here we come:
Stay tuned.
- jelsen

(A) TRAIN Project

Im excited to announce that early tomorrow morning begins Steph's and i's a-train project. "what is it?", you ask...well, we dont exactly know yet.
We'll be armed with a b&w camera, two cabezas full of imagination, and the longest one-seat ride in the subway system (over 31 miles) we romantically refer to as "The Mutherfucking A Train". we'll be riding it from start to finish.

Cant wait to see what we come up with. Stay tuned!

- jelsen

Peripheral Branding, Oh My!

Shepard Fairey / The Grateful Dead / ChangeTheThought
(you can download ChangeTheThought's 24x36 & 11x17 posters for free - 10 in all)


- Jelsen

Why Bahareh doesnt love me:

She DIDNT get me this for Venereal Day 2008. ugh.


well, there's always halloween.
check out [TYPOLADE ]

- jelsen

Step-Uncle Sam finds our address:

The Department Of Homeland Security finally decided to send us a 'notice' that our fiance visa 'will be' arriving....

i guess that counts as a step closer.

- jelsen

Marijuanapparel.

Yesterday, on myrtle's wonderful B54 bus, my eye caught onto a pattern on a pair of this grown-ass-man's jeans. what was that pattern? marijuana leaves; embroidered...across the entire pair.

REALLY?

What's up with these adults strutting around proudly rocking either 2pac/weed-leaf tees (wonder if they know his lyrics), dangling sterling 'silver' marijuana necklaces with real 'diamonds', and/or (my very, very favorite) a weed tattoo?

Why is this so cool to them? these are far from rebelling highschool kids skipping class to spark a quickie - these people HAVE children, even adult ones! Who cares that you smoke weed? most of us do. it really isnt unique and sure as hell isnt proclamation-worthy. all you're saying is, "hello stranger, before i tell you who i am or what i do for a living - i REALLY need to express how much i love weed....via my clothing. awesome, huh?!".

NOPE

I wonder how many of these marijuanapperellers are involved in any legalization issues or activist organizations. i wouldnt bet on many; these classy cats are just tooooo cool for that.

- jelsen

Beam Me Downwards

yes yes. i tried getting wasted last night in the name of Modern Medicine - still, im stuck with these sniffles & scratchy throat. ive had a cold at least 50 times in my life yet i can NEVER remember how i got rid of it.

what next, what next.....

- jelsen

Oslo Fashion Week

I got to mingle with the fashionistas for a night in Oslo at the opening of OFW and although the show didn't knock me off my feet, a tiny little boys choir called "the Silver boys" did. Sadly my cellphone camera doesn't do them justice, but they really proved to be anything but tiny (pun intended).



-bahareh

Where you at?

My cell was out of function so I was looking for a payphone in Oslo.
I think I just might have found the most inconvenient one ever. Needless to say, I never called to say I love him.

I texted it instead.

-bahareh

Good Morning // 02

Another shitty night of sleep. i decided to skip the bed and crash on the couch for a change of scenery. woke up with crusty crust just about everywhere on my face. hooray.

my back feels great, though. that counts for something, eh?

Happy Friday
- jelsen

What a Legacy.

Russian inventor Léon Theremin created (invented) the world's first electronic instrument almost a century ago. its sound is eeeerie and immensely emotional.

physically, its quite a looker. what's even cooler than its familiar sound is how you play it - its as if it came back from the future.

i netflixed "Theremin: An Electronic Odyssey". dude had an amazing life - check it out. veddy interesting.

- jelsen

Somebody please answer the man.

Ah, Stephanie with the precise cropping. i know what you're thinking, "why would you ruin her perfect photo with that huge, white, drop-shadowed arrow pointing to a stupid - ooooo! STICKER!!"

yeah. sorry.

- jelsen

Baby Genius? Yes.

A friend of ours [alexis kaplan ] made this for a class assignment; visualize a word or phrase with food.

it now has prime real estate on our wall. 'nuff said.

- jelsen

Happy "V"-Day, Bahareh

"valentines" not "venereal", silly!

(i love you babe.)
- jelsen

Our Logo being born. Then circumsized.

woohoo. its also a girl! we're truly proud parents - until it fucks up.