Lassies & Gentlemen

January 25th is Robbie Burns Day - the world's largest annual celebration of the work of any writer. Please, google it.....how'd this day of whiskey, slurred speeches, bagpipage, stews, and folk dancing exist so long without any of my knowledge?

oh - im not scottish. that's it.

Well, Doug & Nicole let me adopt-a-culture for a day and here's how they done do it:
yes - they had official [printed] programs!
Turn for my 'Toast To The Lassies':

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
How benevolent your ways

With bodies as solid as a chassis
And sweet minds that remold like clay

There are far too many accolades to simply display
But because of you, oh sweet lassie, we are all here today.

Placenta Placenta - you were first my home
And look how mighty strong i now have grown!

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
How seductive your souls

With breasts ripe like pomegranates
And asses that most find tough to manage

Those lips so soft
My penis exalts

Vagina Vagina - you are my favorite home
And look how mighty strong i now have grown!

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
How multifaceted your modes

With frontal lobes too complex for mere lads to hone
You gracefully achieve both career and tidy abodes

Sweet natural scents never leave you alone
We lads proudly lend you our throne

Intellect Intellect - you are my elusive home
And look how mighty smart i now have grown!

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
You prance with such confidence

With voices high pitched and index finger as waving evidence
You get your ways with nearly no hesitance

From us lads you are forever in need of more attention
If not satisfied you use manipulation called pussy retention

Philanges Philanges - you are consistently my new home
With a firm stride and altering grips....there is none better thing known.

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Oh Sweet Sweet Lassies
Let us Laddies rise to salute thee
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Too much fun. Just the right amount of 'too much' fun.

thanks guys!
- jelsen