Brand new baby

I tried to think of a clever thing to say about this, but nothing beats "my husband surprised me with a new computer". Finally I feel connected to the world again! My new laptop is amazing. It starts up by the push of a button, it writes the words as I'm typing them and it doesn't smell like someone farted on it. Nope. It smells like a baby. A brand new, electronic baby.

As for my husband, he smells like he just got laid.